Crossroads Part II

"'Deep' is not a place we visit in our search for God, it's what happens to us when we find him." --Calvin Miller

So I've just gotten into the book called 'Into the Depths of God' by Calvin Miller. It's apt that it comes right on the heels of Melissa asking the question, "What does it mean to live deeply?" It's a strong question. It's a convicting question. I know that I am living my life on the surface, or at least ankle deep. But have I ventured into the deep, unknown world that lies beyond?

Simply put, no.

I can sound quite deep when I'm writing, or discussing an issue with someone, but that's simply a gift for words and not much more. There isn't a whole lot of substance behind them. They may be true, and even helpfull, but they likely have not penetrated into my most inward being and become part of who I am.

Miller's words hit me gently, but squarely between the eyes. Listen to this, "Most of us dress our Christian faith in an ill-fitting discipleship that, like a cheap suit, leaves us uncomfortable most of our lives. Among our friends at church we struggle to keep our reputation for godliness bannered forth. We would like to appear to be like Jesus without the discipline of really being like him. Reading several dozen fill-in-the-blanks self-help manuals, we talk ourselves into a spiritual reputation we have never really earned."

I keep reading this over and over again, seeing just how much of my life this simple paragraph applies to. I spend so much time putting on a mask that I honestly don't even know I'm putting on. I don't deliberately go out and contrive some way of looking good to my friends. On the contrary, I want to be genuine with them. The trouble is, there's always something that stops me short of going that extra step. Diving a little deeper, as it were.

So I won't try and define living deeply here, because I'm pretty sure that I don't have the faintest clue as to what it means. But let me show you what I'm finding as I begin this journey toward living deeply:

"Deep is the dwelling place of God. Deep is the character of the ocean. Hold the metephore for a moment and savor its lessons... For deep is where the noisy, trashy surface of the ocean gets quiet and serene. No sound breaks the awsome silence of the ocean's heart. Most Christians, however, spend their lives being whipped tumultuously through the surface circumstances of their days. Their frothy lifestyles mark the surface nature of their lives. Yet those who plumb the deep things of God discover true peace for the first time."

This isn't just another lament on the busyness of our lives, though it does point to that as well. It's an invitation. I could agree wholeheartedly that my life is this tumult of meetings and work and rehearsals and whatever else, but I would never get to the real issue. God. Even the deepest person is going to encounter busyness in their life. How a person handles it, and where it leads them is determined by how deep they are with God.

But what's it look like to go deep with God? Try this, "We do not go deep to study God, we go deep to taste his reality. In such experience we cannot define God, for he is not definable. But we do, ultimately, define ourselves. In the depths we meet our smallness, our powerlessness, our need. On the positive side, we discover the folly of trying to find our satisfaction in surface relationships. We learn to our credit that God hides neither his greatness nor our self-understanding in three hurried minutes of Bible reading a day."

A few months ago, I found myself a crossroads in my spiritual walk. I've kind of paused there, trying to figure out which road is mine and often getting distracted by the surface tumult of my life. How do I follow Jesus without reservation? I may be closing in on the answer to that question. These are but brief excerpts from this book. I'm taking them one by one to see if I can't actually begin to live deeply. Live in touch with God on such a level as to be indescribable. Live in touch with people as to make a mark in their lives, and have them make a mark in mine.

Just imagine the possibilities...